Sense of life ?

Okay , this is weird and I pretty much know that.But then , I still need an answers.Oh pleasee God help me. So yeahhh , actually I had this kind of "confusing issue" I want to wear tudung but I'm scared if that only remain as a temporary , you know what I mean ? And Like I've been thinking bout this , like so damn confuse.I felt sorry to myself ;'( and I want to cry.